This weekend I drove to North Carolina to see my friend, S. However, I had not checked the weather. It’s just like Me to wait until the last minute to do something like that. When I did, I found out that a big winter storm was coming through.
Well, it was too late to cancel the trip and I wasn’t going to disappoint my friend. So I’m here now and I’m snowed in. I have never been snowed in before. Somehow I thought I might be able to get out. Not a chance.
S, of course, is glad that I’m stuck here a little longer. I will not be able to make it back for work on Monday. Most of the time I don’t enjoy work but I don’t like to call out because it is difficult to cover for missing people. On the other hand, I don’t mind being here with S a little longer.
Right now we are sitting in the lobby of my hotel watching tv. She doesn’t live far away but she is here hanging out with me while I wait. We’re just gonna try to enjoy the day.
I spent the first two weeks of work (driving a school bus) in pain; Stomach cramps and on the verge of having diarrhea. Then as time progressed, constipation; Nothing happening, Just pain.
Last week on Friday was the worst. The pain was almost unbearable, and, add extreme nausea to the mix. A bus driver causes great problems if he/she calls out sick, so I didn’t. I worked my shift in extreme pain and feeling like I was going to throw up. Fortunately, I had not eaten anything that morning.
I was very short with my kids. The first to weeks the kids are testing the bus driver to see what they can get away with. That Friday I was NOT in the mood. I’m sure they thought I was the meanest bus driver in the world that day. I answered no questions. I was very upset if they got too loud. And I seemed to nearly lose control of my self if anyone got out of their seat, breaking my number 1 rule about riding my school bus. I finished my shift without any embarrassing spewing from either end of my body.
I was about ready to go to the emergency room after my shift when I remembered that I was on a new medication to help with my blood sugar. Sure enough, the label listed all of the side effects I was having. I stopped taking the medication and everything was back to normal within a day or so, including a higher blood sugar level.
So, I will have to get with my doctor and find another medication. No bus driver wants to be sick while driving a bus with 60+ kids onboard. If this ever happens again I will call out. The possibility of puking or crapping my pants in front of kids is simply not an option.
I went for my second bicycle ride. 9.2 miles in 47 minutes. It’s not too shabby. The only problem I had was my seat tearing my ass up. I also felt some numbness in my private bits. AGING IS NOT FOR COWARDS!
I also felt some weirdness in my hands. I have had carpal tunnel repair in both. It wasn’t pain. They just felt weird, then, extra weird after the ride was over. It didn’t last long.
I did have to stop after mile 8 to rest a bit (about 4 minutes). Mostly because of the pain in my butt. I was fine after resting. I look forward to riding again and feeling stronger. I don’t know if it will help in my weight loss efforts but, it is sure to help my cardiovascular health. And in fact, it felt pretty good today. I think all that running while in the Navy has paid off in spades.
I really liked running while I could do it. I have tried running short distances since my back surgery in 2010. I just can’t do it. Too much shin and lower back pain. And for some reason, it taxes my breathing way more than riding the bicycle. I’m guessing more muscles are involved in actually running. On the bike, not so many.
At any rate, with the bicycle, I do get some exercise. Also, there is the passing scenery. And, I have my Bluetooth headset for music and vocal prompts from my exercise app (Endomondo), all of which helps to take my mind somewhere else while the exercise is happening. Otherwise, it would be just boring grueling self-torture. I’m not into that sort of thing.
Well, that’s all for now. I have no idea how many calories I burned. And I don’t really care. It was just bicycling. It was fun.
So I have been seeing chia seed in the grocery store, on the internet, YouTube, but never really paid attention. So I started doing some reading. Apparently, it is considered one of the best “superfoods” on the market. It has a good source of protein, high in omega 3 fats, high in fiber and low in calories. And it’s easy to use and incorporate into the diet.
I intend to give it a try. It apparently absorbs 5 times it weight or size in liquid. A lot of people add it to coconut milk with fruit. It turns into a pudding-like texture. I’m guessing it pretty much takes on the flavor of whatever liquid added. It can also be sprinkled onto salads, cereals to add fiber and all the rest of that stuff I mentioned before.
It is also said that chia seed can stave off blood glucose spikes (I think that’s what I mean). I usually just refer to it as blood sugar. Mine is usually too high, but, that’s because I have not been eating the way I should. I guess I go in cycles. It feels like I’m swinging back around to a desire to eat better. For a while though, I just didn’t care anymore.
And it is not that I think this one product is going to do a magic trick and solve all of my dietary problems. It is just something new for me which I hope will enhance my arsenal of better eating habits.
Well, WordPress notifications tell me that I haven’t posted in the last 22 days. So here is an update. I have continued to eat whatever I want whenever I want and I am paying the price. I have gained about 8 pounds I think. And I can feel the affects of it. My back and knees hurt. Of course, the thing with the knees could be because of the bus driving.
I really do need to try to get back on track. I have let my schedule at work dictate how I eat. My excuse is that I don’t have the energy to prepare my meals, or plan my meals as I should. Enough with the excuses though. I need to get my crap together. I don’t even want to know what this is doing to my inner workings.
My battle feels like an uphill endeavor. My energy is sapped by my physical pain, which is increased the more I eat the wrong things. Inflammation, low energy, and just not feeling quite right is the worst.
In the beginning, the busy work schedule seemed to be helping me. But then I let my sweet tooth take over. A little ice cream here and there became ice cream for lunch. The more sweets I ate the more fried foods I wanted, and the more fried food I had.
So now, I am at that place where I have to fight to get started again. I have to fight to make myself eat the right stuff and get rid of things I don’t need. I am truly living yo-yo diet life style. I like how eating the right stuff makes me feel, but I also love the immediate feeling the wrong foods give me.
I will keep updating and reporting the good and the bad. I really wish my first eating habit had been a better one. Maybe all of this would be easier.
What can I do about it? The best I can. That’s all I know to do. I’m tired.
Well, its seems that having a job and keeping a schedule is a big help toward eating better. Most times in the past when I was pressed for time because of work or whatever, fast food was my choice; McDonalds, Burger King, or Wendy’s. I’m not saying these are totally out of the picture. I AM human.
Lately, about the last month I have chosen to eat salads with some sort of grilled meat; chicken or steak. There are actually a lot of choices. And no, I don’t get salads from the three placed mentioned above. If I go to those place I’m eating a burger and french fries.
Walmart is a place that has a great variety of different salads. They are made fresh daily, though I don’t think they make them in house. They are quite tasty though. I usually buy 3 or 4 at a time. And like before I don’t get really hungry because of the low glycemic load.
The salads are pretty big, probably 4 cups of green leafy stuff. The dressings are pretty nice as well. Each salad comes with a specific dressing. Some of my favorite salads are the Southwestern with steak, Grilled chicken with apples, dried cranberry, blue cheese, and walnuts is another good one. I don’t remember what that one is called. Of course they have the Chef Salad, not on of my favorites. It will do in a pinch though. And there are many more to choose from.
I’m not saying I’m back on course, but it is a start in the right direction. I seem to do better when I don’t try so hard. So I just try to make one smart decision at a time where eating is concerned.
Yea, still not worried about any diet. I’m at Waffle House having breakfast. Waffle House is one of my favorite places to eat. I can see them prepare my meal, which makes me more willing to eat the food.
At this point, I have mostly given up on the diet thing, but still watching out for my health. I know I can’t eat like this every day. And for the most part, I eat at home and things are pretty plain jane.
The All-American is a big breakfast. It comes with your choice of bacon, sausage, or ham, eggs to order, grits or hash browns, toast and a big ole waffle!
The coffee is always good, and the price is right. I’m only here because I missed breakfast this morning. I could have gone home but I didn’t want to. I’m enjoying myself.😊
I have made no progress in this venture. I think the problem is that I don’t seem to care anymore. And I don’t care about not caring either.
I have been really busy with this new job (school bus driver). I’m pretty sure that I like the job enough to keep it for a while. It wears me out though because I have to be up before the kids who ride the bus. So I’m up around 4 a.m.
I don’t know what bearing this has on me eating right. It would be just another excuse I suppose.
This morning I am emerging from a week with the worst cold I have ever experienced. And as luck would have it, it was Spring Break for the schools I serve. I wanted to enjoy the break just like the kids. Instead, I lay on the couch or in bed struggling to stay alive. At least, that’s what it felt like.
It began with a cough on Friday evening. Saturday, I was down for the count. I was in pain all over, sneezing, chilled to the bone and wishing I could be someone else until this thing was over.
And for the cherry on top of it all, yesterday I discovered I somehow got Thrush, a fungal infection which babies usually get. At least that’s what I hope it is. I’m not accepting anything else! It is very painful. It’s no wonder that babies scream when they have it.
So, tomorrow is the end of my break. I didn’t have any fun. I’m back to work Monday morning. I’m not even gonna pretend that I intend to try to get back on track with diet or exercise because I just don’t care at the moment. Just glad I didn’t die this week.
I began this blog as a way to try and keep myself honest about what I am doing. A way to keep up with what I’m putting into my body. A way to encourage my self to keep going and maybe encourage others. Yet, I have found lately ( last year and 2 months) that I have not been able to stay on course and be honest about it.
Cheating has been my real issue. As I have stated in other posts, I have real addiction issues with certain types of foods; high carb and sugary in nature. I can’t seem to stop myself. I started out strong this year. Well, the first couple of weeks anyway. Then my desire for the sugary goodness(?) badness(?) kicked in. I can’t seem to resist.
I thought I had a good strategy by not having the stuff I don’t want to eat in the house. That isn’t good enough though. I have found myself jumping in the car late at night headed to the 24-hour Walmart to get what I needed. I think that if there was a guy on the corner selling Hostess Snack Cakes, and was able to do credit card transactions he would have had my business.
So, in retrospect, I have not done well at all the last 18 months or so. I can actually feel my health declining. I have gained all but 10 pounds of the weight I lost 2 years ago. My skeletal issues (degenerative disc disease) have gotten worse. This morning and the last couple of days, maybe a week or so, I have barely been able to stand or walk because of pain.
This is not the vanity of wanting to look good for the ladies. I’m in my 50’s. In fact, I will be 55 on March 1. Only 5 days away. It is a matter of life and death for me. If I get any heavier with my condition I could end up in a wheelchair or be using one of those metal walkers with the wheels and tennis balls. I do have one here in the house. I had to have it after I had back surgery in 2010.
Even as I sit here typing I am in some serious pain. I have lacked the discipline needed to stay on track. I need to lose weight. I have mild heart disease and have suffered from high cholesterol for years. I take a shit load of medications in the morning and evening.
I have been a failure this year so far, and last year for sure. I am really struggling. I need to do better. My plan is to write more honestly about what I am going through. I typically have been writing only when I thought I was doing okay and lying a little the rest of the time. Probably because when I’m failing miserably I really don’t want anyone to know.
Maybe I was vain in the beginning. I was hoping this would be one of those blogs that showed how I went from fat to fit in so many months or years. But there are enough of those sites on the web already. And for people like me, they are not so encouraging. They only make me feel more like a failure.
So from now on, you get the whole story. I will do my best to write honestly about what I’m going through, my struggles, my failures, and of course my successes. I don’t want anyone feeling like a failure as a result of my writing bullshit.
As always I am determined to succeed. I need to lose weight. Not because I want to look good, though that is a part of it. But it is more because as I get older I find that it is easier to catch a cold, I have more pain just because, and I need to be strong. I promised my daughter I would live until I was 120 years old. 🙂
That is all for now. I have to get to work. Still training to be a school bus driver.
I didn’t mean to fry that chicken. It was an accident. My alter ego was heating oil, and I stumbled into the stove and lost my grip on the chicken and it fell into the oil. I would never do this on purpose. I’m on a diet.😂
Well, I couldn’t waste it, so, I had it for dinner. I had one helping. It was only a Cornish Game Hen so the pieces were very small. REally! It was tasty though. There is only so much baked anything you can eat without craving its fried relative.
I’m not sure about those heirloom green beans on the plate though. They were kind of sweet. I’m not used to that. I expected the normal flavor of green beans and got a surprise. Don’t mess with green beans. It’s wrong.