Posted in Diet

True Confession

I began this blog as a way to try and keep myself honest about what I am doing. A way to keep up with what I’m putting into my body. A way to encourage my self to keep going and maybe encourage others. Yet, I have found lately ( last year and 2 months) that I have not been able to stay on course and be honest about it.

Cheating has been my real issue. As I have stated in other posts, I have real addiction issues with certain types of foods; high carb and sugary in nature. I can’t seem to stop myself. I started out strong this year. Well, the first couple of weeks anyway. Then my desire for the sugary goodness(?) badness(?) kicked in. I can’t seem to resist.

Crack Cakes

I thought I had a good strategy by not having the stuff I don’t want to eat in the house. That isn’t good enough though. I have found myself jumping in the car late at night headed to the 24-hour Walmart to get what I needed. I think that if there was a guy on the corner selling Hostess Snack Cakes, and was able to do credit card transactions he would have had my business.

So, in retrospect, I have not done well at all the last 18 months or so. I can actually feel my health declining. I have gained all but 10 pounds of the weight I lost 2 years ago. My skeletal issues (degenerative disc disease) have gotten worse. This morning and the last couple of days, maybe a week or so, I have barely been able to stand or walk because of pain.

This is not the vanity of wanting to look good for the ladies. I’m in my 50’s. In fact, I will be 55 on March 1. Only 5 days away. It is a matter of life and death for me. If I get any heavier with my condition I could end up in a wheelchair or be using one of those metal walkers with the wheels and tennis balls. I do have one here in the house. I had to have it after I had back surgery in 2010.

Even as I sit here typing I am in some serious pain. I have lacked the discipline needed to stay on track. I need to lose weight. I have mild heart disease and have suffered from high cholesterol for years. I take a shit load of medications in the morning and evening.

I have been a failure this year so far, and last year for sure. I am really struggling. I  need to do better. My plan is to write more honestly about what I am going through. I typically have been writing only when I thought I was doing okay and lying a little the rest of the time. Probably because when I’m failing miserably I really don’t want anyone to know.

Maybe I was vain in the beginning. I was hoping this would be one of those blogs that showed how I went from fat to fit in so many months or years. But there are enough of those sites on the web already. And for people like me, they are not so encouraging. They only make me feel more like a failure.

So from now on, you get the whole story. I will do my best to write honestly about what I’m going through, my struggles, my failures, and of course my successes. I don’t want anyone feeling like a failure as a result of my writing bullshit.

As always I am determined to succeed. I need to lose weight. Not because I want to look good, though that is a part of it. But it is more because as I get older I find that it is easier to catch a cold, I have more pain just because, and I need to be strong. I promised my daughter I would live until I was 120 years old. 🙂

That is all for now. I have to get to work. Still training to be a school bus driver.

Posted in Diet

Fried Chicken Accident!

I didn’t mean to fry that chicken. It was an accident. My alter ego was heating oil, and I stumbled into the stove and lost my grip on the chicken and it fell into the oil. I would never do this on purpose. I’m on a diet.😂

Well, I couldn’t waste it, so, I had it for dinner. I had one helping. It was only a Cornish Game Hen so the pieces were very small. REally! It was tasty though. There is only so much baked anything you can eat without craving its fried relative.

I’m not sure about those heirloom green beans on the plate though. They were kind of sweet. I’m not used to that. I expected the normal flavor of green beans and got a surprise. Don’t mess with green beans. It’s wrong.

Posted in Diet

Back on Track

See? Right back at it. Well, except for the cinnamon roll I had this morning. And the one I had didn’t come close to the one pictured to the right. It was one of those cheap store-bought ones. I was late for work (excuse). Missed breakfast, rushing to work (actually training as a school bus driver).  Got really hungry during the few hours I was driving. As soon as I got home I busted out my smoker and put on a Cornish Hen.

Took me about 20 minutes to get the grill going. In the meantime, I seasoned my little bird with salt, black pepper, garlic powder, chili powder, and cumin. All of these ingredients would be in my rub if I’d made one. I cooked the bird for about an hour and a half. Once it got close I steamed my Asparagus, then, added some salt, pepper, and a little butter.

The meal was quite tasty if I do say so myself. My stomach is now full, and back to its usual calm. It was not feeling so hot after the ice cream last night and the cinnamon roll this morning.

I like my diet. I like the foods I’m able to eat. But addiction, and that’s the only way I can explain it, is a very hard thing beat. I’m addicted to high-carb sugary foods. But one day this will not be the case. I have beaten other addictions.


Posted in Diet

Ice Cream Bomb!!!

I am sitting here, so disappointed in myself. I was too lazy to get up an cook dinner for myself. So for dinner, I had ice cream. How sad is that? And now that burning sensation that I was missing because I was eating the right stuff, its back.

I am extremely irritated. But I’ll continue the fight tomorrow. That’s all I wanted to say.

Posted in Diet, Health

Cures of the Right Diet

Today I have realized that I have been without any form of antacid for over 3 weeks. In 1993 the doctor diagnosed me as having GERD or a Hiatal hernia. I don’t think the doctors actually knew which one. They were Navy Docs.

A Hiatal Hernia – A condition in which part of the stomach pushes up through the diaphragm muscle.

I don’t think this is actually what it was!

Gastroesophageal reflux disease, or GERD, is a digestive disorder that affects the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), the ring of muscle between the esophagus and stomach. The weak esophageal ring allows acid to enter the esophagus.

This sounds more like what I was experiencing

Since that time in 1993, I have taken every antacid ever produced in the pharmaceutical industry. That’s what it feels like anyway. 24 Years! TWENTY-FOUR YEARS!!!! I don’t even think the stuff is good for you.  Earlier years on some of those drug labels I remember reading that it was a temporary treatment, but, I took them for 24 years.

I wrote a post earlier in my progress about how my stomach situation seemed to improve on the Ketogenic diet. But when I began to veer off my diet the symptoms returned.

Today I suddenly realize how long I have gone without my Nexium. I have meant to buy it but never got around to it. I haven’t even mastered being back on my diet yet. I have been fairly consistent, but I’m not all the way there yet. I don’t think it is only the diet that counts. It has to have something to do with how much I eat. When I know I’m eating something that could give me heartburn symptoms I certainly don’t eat a lot of it.

With GERD, I realize that how much food I consume at one setting is very important in keeping digestive acids in my stomach where they belong and not my esophagus. A few times in the last 3 weeks I have had to drink about a half cup of water with about a teaspoon of baking soda mixed in. This neutralizes the acid and gives heartburn relief. Other than those few times everything has been pretty good.

I would like never to have to take antacids again. To do this, staying on the right foods plays a key role, and gives me another incentive to keep at it.


Posted in Diet

Constantly Failing, Constantly Succeeding

When I first began this “makeover” thing I was always worried about whether I was failing or succeeding, or reaching my goals, or gaining or losing weight. It could be maddening.

failureNow it’s two years later. I still haven’t reached my ultimate goal or lost my desired mouth of weight or whatever. But what I do realize now is that I am constantly doing one or the other. I am either constantly failing or constantly succeeding. Sometimes one is happening more than the other, but at least I’m moving one way or the other.

My eating habit was developed over many years. 99% of that time I was eating whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted. Youth will afford you that if you are doing just a modest amount of exercise. I was in the marching band in high school, plus P.E. class, and it was enough to keep me from gaining weight.

By the time I got to my mid-30’s though it was taking more than a little exercise to stay in shape. Fortunately I was in the military and was getting plenty. And I still had not given a single thought to the types and amount of food I was consuming. Surprisingly, I didn’t really get fat until I was around 40. But when it happened, boy, was I in trouble.

The Navy believes in training when it comes anything that has to do with their sailors. So, more than once, I received training about my dietary needs. It didn’t help though. I had already developed some very bad eating habits, which have proven to be extremely hard to change.

ddn-welI still have not given up though. I know what I should be eating, and how much. But I realize that I can’t just switch my way of eating after doing it one way for so long. This will be a fight for probably a very long time. One day it may not be a fight to consume the foods I need for my body. But for now, I fight.

Doesn’t matter if I fail because success is always around the next corner. Doesn’t matter if I’m successful because failure may come in the next moment. What does matter is that I keep going. I can’t change my ways in an instant. It didn’t take me an instant to create my bad eating habits. So, even though the clock keeps counting down, I keep going because I’m constantly failing and I’m constantly succeeding.

Posted in Diet

Help With Wordpress

I am posting this from my phone. I have lost the ability to access WordPress login from my computer. I keep getting this: 404 Forbidden.

Does anyone know what it means or how to fix it?

Posted in Diet, goals, Health

My Fitness Pal

One of the reasons I was so successful in 2015 with my diet was the MyFitnessPal website and mobile app. It lets you set your nutrient goals, calorie intake, and helps you to see exactly how you are doing as long as you are inputting your meals.

During that year I recorded every meal. I got instant feedback about my nutrients. I knew exactly where I stood throughout the day and could adjust accordingly. It is an extremely helpful website and app.

One of the reasons I began to falter was the holidays; Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. The other reason was that I thought I was able to do without the app. Sure, once you have been doing your diet a while you should be able to do without having to depend on an app. But if you are like me the app helps to remind you that you are trying to accomplish something. It reminds you that you have a goal. And it helps to keep on track.

Will I ever be able to go without the app? Maybe, but, why mess with success. So this week I have resumed using the app to monitor my meals, food & nutrient intake through MyFitnessPal. There are also other apps that are just as helpful, but my favorite is the one I’ve been writing about here.

There are others you can check out. All of these apps are available on both iTunes & Android:

I find that I need all the help I can get.

Posted in affordable foods, Diet

Finance & Eating Right

I have to confess that I made a financial miscalculation in 2014 when I chose to buy a new car. Truthfully, I don’t know what I was thinking, except, that I needed a car. Well, it has my finances stretched pretty thin. It has been pretty difficult to pay all of my monthly bills and eat and do other things I need to get done.

If you don’t know, being able to afford the kinds of foods you need to eat right is a big deal. Some would argue that it cost less to eat right that it does to eat fast foods or junk food. Personally, I disagree. There are a lot of “convenient” “quick foods” you can buy in the grocery store that can be stretched a long way. You know the foods. They come in containers and boxes, and the ingredients lists are filled with things you can’t even pronounce. Pop them in the microwave or add hot water and you’re good to go. These foods are found in the inner aisles of the grocery store.

Being able to shop the outer aisles in the grocery store is a big deal. As you know the outer aisles usually are filled with the whole foods which are better for your health. They are the produce and meat and dairy sections. In other words fresh or fresh-ish food sections. These foods have not been processed or have ingredients you can’t pronounce added to them. Of course, there may be some poisons depending on whether or not we’re talking about non-organic or organically grown.

I figured out years ago that simply staying out of the inner aisles and away from “instant” or “processed” foods is enough to improve your health to some degree, even if you’re not shopping organic foods. Unfortunately, the inner aisles cost a lot less, not to mention quicker at home when it comes to preparing meals for your family. So to eat healthier cost just a little more.

Of course, you should, as much as you can, shop those outer aisles. Because I bought a new car in 2014 it has been increasingly difficult to shop those outer aisles. I purchased the car while I was in school as a retired veteran so I had a little extra income. So when I stopped going that income also stopped. I don’t need that much to ease things a little, but I do need something.

Well, I guess I said all of that to get to this point. Today, I begin training to drive a school bus for Berkeley County school district. Commercial driving is another skill I picked up when I got out of the Navy. Actually, I learned to drive large vehicles while in the Navy. I didn’t get a commercial license until I got out.

I have had driving jobs before. I like driving. I have had a spotless driving record since 2001. I am pretty good at it. Driving the school bus will give me enough extra income to get by with more ease and I will be able to continue to shop those outer aisles in the grocery store.

I have been doing the best that I can to eat right this year and it has been difficult. And sometimes I have had to eat those “convenient” foods. It will be much easier to support my chosen eating habit with a job.

So, wish me luck. I will keep you informed.


Posted in Diet, family stuff

I Love To Eat!

That is part of the problem. I love to eat. When I get bored, eat. When I watch TV, eat. Go to the mall, eat. And then there is the whole breakfast, lunch, and dinner thing!

I think growing up in a family that loved to get together on Sundays to visit and eat dinner together was one of the greatest experiences on earth. And sometimes I think on a subconscious level that I am trying to recapture that feeling. I think we all do, especially if you had that kind of family.

Eating was always part of a good time. But families aren’t as tight as they used to be. In many ways they still are, but, somehow different. I am part of a family here where I live. I have my kids, friends, people at church, and it is great. They are all my family. But still, it is somehow different.

I can’t put my finger on what it is. Well, maybe I can. One thing that has changed in my life was the departure of my mother in 2013. Many of those nostalgic memories are times spent with her. I’m sure any of my siblings would say the same.

I think eating can be a way to try and recapture the past. And I guess I let it get out of control a lot. I have plenty of opportunities to eat and fellowship with my friends and family, and we have a great time together. But I can’t ever shake that feeling that I’m missing out, and I tend to use food to overcome.

That makes eating right a little harder. But for the past couple of weeks, I have remained faithful to my desired eating habit. Still, it is hard. Boredom still comes and I’m tempted to eat. I try to channel that into time with my saxophone practice and other things, like cleaning my house (I am seriously lacking in that area) and walking.

I love to eat! It just can’t be my number one thing. I’m sure the struggle will continue but I will not give up. The struggle is probably what keeps us alive. So, I’m living the life.