I am struggling. I had COOKIES for breakfast. Yes, cookies. I have found myself not caring about what I eat lately, not caring about the consequences, not caring about my health. I don’t really know what causes me to be this way sometimes. Maybe it is stress. I am struggling financially. I have overextended my financial reach a bit.

Struggling financially is very stressful. I am getting by, but just barely. If you’re wondering, I bought a car in 2014. I needed reliable transportation. Now, I need a job. That would help a great deal.

It is hard to explain where I am mentally and emotionally. I am sure there is a multitude of things that contribute to my dietary failure. I don’t think it is just about a lack of discipline. It goes deeper than that. My doctor noticed it. She has me on antidepressant medication. I guess it helps.

The only thing I seem to be enjoying right now is playing my saxophone. I am also thinking about auditioning to be a cruise ship musician in a few months. My only worry there is being physically fit enough to get the job. They have physical health standards that they seem to take pretty seriously. A friend of my was doing the cruise ship thing and had to give it up when he didn’t pass the health requirement. That is another reason I need find a way to get back on track.

I didn’t want to write today because I don’t really have anything positive to report. My life is what it is. I don’t want to give up. I’m trying to hang on but it seems to be increasingly difficult for me.