Dietary Failures

I am struggling. I had COOKIES for breakfast. Yes, cookies! I have found myself not caring about what I eat lately, not caring about the consequences, not caring about my health. I don’t really know what causes me to be this way sometimes. Maybe it is stress. I am struggling financially. I have overextended my financial reach a bit.

Struggling financially is very stressful. I am getting by, but just barely. If you’re wondering, I bought a car in 2014. I needed reliable transportation. Now, I need a job. That would help a great deal.

It is hard to explain where I am mentally and emotionally. I am sure there is a multitude of things that contribute to my dietary failure. I don’t think it is just about a lack of discipline. It goes deeper than that. My doctor noticed it. She has me on antidepressant medication. I guess it helps.

The only thing I seem to be enjoying right now is playing my saxophone. I am also thinking about auditioning to be a cruise ship musician in a few months. My only worry there is being physically fit enough to get the job. They have physical health standards that they seem to take pretty seriously. A friend of my was doing the cruise ship thing and had to give it up when he didn’t pass the health requirement. That is another reason I need find a way to get back on track.

I didn’t want to write today because I don’t really have anything positive to report. My life is what it is. I don’t want to give up. I’m trying to hang on but it seems to be increasingly difficult for me.



  1. Nope. Don’t quit.

    I’m currently going through some of the same struggles as you are, minus the weight issue. But I have gotten concerned about not eating regularly, or just stuffing junk into my belly when it becomes an emergency. Relating to you, this all started for me four years ago when I stopped playing music. Something else it’s obviously time for me to change.
    As for the cruise ship gig, go for it. I did one and many folks who shouldn’t have passed the standards did (they’re really nothing even close to military standards). The gig is good for some perspective. Lots of down time. Lots of new sights and scenes and people, and although musically I had hoped for more from time to time, it was an overall positive experience for me. And I met some wonderful folks I’m still close with.
    Thanks for writing today, although I know you didn’t feel like it.

    • Thanks, Bob. That actually helped. I am curious as to why you quit playing music. I quit 10 years ago. The why is a long and boring story; all tied up into my failed marriage and my own personal demons. I’m glad to be playing again, even if I never get paid for it again.

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