Weekend Struggle

So, things didn’t go all that well this weekend. It was something I expected. I always struggle when I have nothing to fill my time. I don’t drive (work) on weekends. Usually, I ride my motorcycle, but not this time. My back was not up to it. As I sit here writing this post, I have a sharp pain under my left shoulder blade and slight pain in my neck. I know they are connected.

I did ride the bike on Friday. I used my regular open-faced helmet. However, lately, the helmet feels too heavy. I recently bought a half helmet which is one pound lighter. With no face shield, I have to wear safety eyewear. To me, having to change my eyewear, find a place to stash my prescription eyewear, and put the fairing & windshield on my bike is a little much. With my old helmet, I can put it on and go. On Friday, that’s what I did. Now my neck and back hurt. I can’t be positive this is what set my back and neck pain in motion, but it is the most likely culprit.

I say all of that to say not being able to ride my motorcycle placed me in the house with nothing to do, except EAT! There was ICE CREAM INVOLVED! Ice cream is my severe weakness. Yea, fasting went out the window this weekend.

It is currently 4:14 PM. I have already resumed my fasting schedule. It might be a little challenging at times because of all the sugar I consumed. There was a little alcohol involved in my folly as well. Tomorrow, I will be busy working. It will be easy enough to get past the few hunger pains I will indeed have, but I will be back on track.

At some point, I need to deal with my inability to control myself when I’m not busy. Maybe I should seek therapy. I am serious about that last statement. I don’t understand the compulsion to stuff my face when I’m bored. Stress doesn’t cause feeding for me. It causes the opposite. I tend not to eat when I’m stressed. So, I guess I’m not a person who has much stress.

I am still determined to reach my goal. I have five more weeks of alternate-day fasting I want to accomplish. Then I will be back on my usual fast schedule of 18-20 hours per day. I am still struggling with eating better foods when it is time to eat. Again, that might be an issue to pursue with a therapist. Bad eating habits are tough to break.

Anyway, I go on. I’m not going to call this weekend a failure; just an obstacle in the road I needed to get by. That’s all for now.

2 comments

  1. Tony, you are human. And you’re in a process of change. It happens to everyone: we have fallbacks. We… subconsciously I suppose, test ourselves: “do we really want this? What if I do snack now? What if, what if…”
    As long as you keep your eyes on the goal, you’ll be doing great. You picked up your diet, that’s very impressive. Most people I know would call it a failure, feel bad and ditch all of their plans because they messed up once. You don’t. You’re amazing!

    Also, I know I’m strictly not a therapist, but a little trick that works for lots of people, is to make some sort of check list. For instance, I want to have at least 4 days a week on which I snack fruits and nuts instead of chocolate and cookies. Every day I reach that goal, I get to tick off a box. That ticking off boxes-motion triggers THE SAME reward system in our brains that otherwise food or sugars would. You could try it and see if it works for you, too.

    And therapy, I think, is never a bad idea. It always leaves you smarter and wiser about yourself.

    • Thanks, Samantha. I am pretty sure I will not give up. As for your idea, I do something similar with meal planning. Only my problem is boredom when I’m not working. I did better this weekend. Even though I didn’t eat right, I did stay on my fasting schedule. I will succeed eventually.

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