The things I eat make me feel bad. I mean physical discomfort, digestive issues, stomach pain, inflammation in my joints, and lethargy. Yet, I continue to make bad choices at every meal time.
Today was no different. I won’t go into what I had to eat, but some of it was quite disgusting; high in saturated fat, sodium, and artificial flavoring. I used the word disgusting because that is the way I felt after eating. My stomach was bloated and burning, and tight as a drum. Not that I ate that much, but the food was gassy.
I feel differently about eating the crap I eat. I don’t desire it any longer. I just don’t know how to stop. Apparently, feeling as bad as I did today and days previous is not enough to deter me. “Will power” certainly isn’t working.
Because I fast, my stomach has decreased in size. I don’t mean the size of my gut. I mean my actual stomach. Apparently, long periods being empty allows them to shrink. Of course, nothing else shrinks because I eat crap and I don’t exercise.
I have a few excuses. I’m old, too fat to exercise, always in pain because I’m fat, etc. I have many more.
I’m unmotivated! My physical pain IS real. However, I could be making much better food choices. I don’t understand my psychology. I am not without knowledge. I have read a crap load of dietary material. Between the Navy and culinary school you could say I’ve been properly trained.
I don’t know the secret to ME losing weight. I’m almost to the point that I don’t care. If I didn’t physically feel as bad as I do after eating, I might have given up by now. I don’t know what to do, or how to do whatever it is that needs to be done. I’m at a loss and I’m tired.
tltatemakeover.com 
Why do you eat? There is a reason for everything. If you find the pain (or the source for why you make bad eating decisions), you can heal it. You’re not unfixable, Tony. You’re doing great, but for some reason you can’t keep it up. What if that some reason wasn’t your fault? You didn’t choose this. Your problem is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to fix.
I definitely agree. I think one of the reasons is that for me, eating has been connected to comfort or pleasure. While growing up, I was always afraid of missing a meal, or not having money for lunch in school. Then I grew up and sort of got out of control with always being able to pay for whatever I wanted. I don’t know. It could be any number of reasons why I eat. I will keep trying. I haven’t given up yet.
I know where you are. I’ve been obese more or my life than not. 9 weeks ago, I realized that none of my current workmates AND my 21 year old daughter had ever seen me at a normal weight. And somehow, after decades of yo-yo dieting I somehow found my “why” and it was a humbling experience. At 61, I figured it out. I sincerely hope you are able to find your why. It’s never too late.
I hope I can find a way soon.
You will