Nervous At The Beach

What makes you nervous?

Oddly, being at the beach makes me nervous. I have never had an incident in the water or on the beach itself.

Anytime I’m there, I have a slight feeling of panic and can’t wait to leave. In spite of that feeling, I took my two kids the often when we lived in Florida.

Now that I think about it, when the kids and I got to Florida, their mother and I had just been separated. It was a time of great turmoil for them and myself, and probably their mother. The beach was a great distraction for the kids, but not much for me. I was always preoccupied with what was going on.

Eventually, we were divorced and it was over. There was no fight over custody. The kids wanted to live with their mother and was not going to stand in the way of that. There was no doubt they would be in good hands.

For me, however, I remain scarred. I guess the beach reminds me of a tumultuous time in my life. I had not put that together until now.

I believe the kids (now adults) still enjoy the beach. I know my oldest does. He spent about three years as a lifeguard. I am glad those few years in Florida didn’t effect them the way they did me. I will probably always be uncomfortable at the beach.


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