Posted in Health

My Makeover

What exactly is a makeover anyway? What exactly should I be trying to achieve? Am I trying become a skinny person? I don’t think that is actually going to happen. I think I love food too much, and that includes all the ones that are supposed to be terrible for you.

I think maybe I am, or maybe should be, trying to simply develop a healthier attitude about foods in general. I still like the Ketogenic diet. It is easy to follow and a fairly healthy way of eating. However, I find that I am prone to taking advantage of the higher fat intake with the wrong kinds of fat. I have been doing better with that part. This year so far I am mostly overdoing it with the carbs. As you may know, the ketogenic diet is low carb by design.

I don’t ever remember being especially concerned about my appearance when it came to weight. However, before I turned 40 I had never been heavier than 185 – 195 pounds. When I turned 40 things just seemed to slow down; my metabolism, my running speed, and my energy level went way down. I got out of the Navy when I was 44. I feigned injury to get out of my final Physical readiness test (PRT). I would have probably hurt myself doing it anyway.

So when I began writing this blog I had just had my 50th birthday in March. The month I started writing (Sept), is the month my Mom died. She was my best friend. Nothing could have prepared me for such a loss. I was, and am, affected deeply by this event. I think sadness sometimes has a lot to do with the way we eat. Some of the times I ended up eating when I’m not hungry are times I thought to pick up the phone and call my Mom, having forgotten for a fraction of a second that she is gone. There are, of course, other triggers. I think this is what is meant by emotional eating. Everyone probably does it.

As far as controlling weight gain I believe exercise is half of the equation, but sometimes injuries can keep that from happening. I have had a lower lumbar fusion, two levels. I have had the same type of surgery on my neck, level C6. The one thing I am never without is physical pain. My doctors always ask me what my pain level has been between visits (1-10). Mine is always between 5 & 10. Most days it is around 8.

So, I don’t know what kind of a makeover am trying to achieve or could expect. I once thought that if I lost weight maybe my pain level wouldn’t be so high. I’m not sure I believe that anymore, mainly because I don’t think I will ever lose enough weight, but also because degenerative disc disease is, well, degenerative. So, a makeover I may need or want, but, I don’t know what that actually means.

Maybe, in the beginning, I wanted to prove I could lose a lot of weight, and be able to post before and after photos. Now I don’t care about that part of it. Some days I just want to feel sane or normal and feel good physically. Maybe I suffer depression. I don’t know. Perhaps a makeover of the mind is in order.

So, I don’t know what a makeover means for me. I will always try to watch my weight. At my age its a sensible thing to do. I want a healthy mind and emotions. Maybe when that happens (and I believe it will) I will have a better relationship with food, or a healthier one anyway.

Posted in food

Macronutrients of the day

I went over on my carbs today, or tonight rather. I went to a big band jazz concert. There was an intermission they had cookies. I had three. I was actually surprised that I didn’t go over my sugar limit.

It will be better tomorrow. The goal is to reach ketosis so the body which is a sign that the body is burning fat for fuel. Ketones are a byproduct of that process and can also be a source of energy for the body and brain. The amount of carb intake has to be low for this to happen.

So, I lost out to my addiction again.

Screen Shot 2018-02-23 at 9.46.40 PM

Posted in Diet

True Confession

I began this blog as a way to try and keep myself honest about what I am doing. A way to keep up with what I’m putting into my body. A way to encourage my self to keep going and maybe encourage others. Yet, I have found lately ( last year and 2 months) that I have not been able to stay on course and be honest about it.

Cheating has been my real issue. As I have stated in other posts, I have real addiction issues with certain types of foods; high carb and sugary in nature. I can’t seem to stop myself. I started out strong this year. Well, the first couple of weeks anyway. Then my desire for the sugary goodness(?) badness(?) kicked in. I can’t seem to resist.

Crack Cakes

I thought I had a good strategy by not having the stuff I don’t want to eat in the house. That isn’t good enough though. I have found myself jumping in the car late at night headed to the 24-hour Walmart to get what I needed. I think that if there was a guy on the corner selling Hostess Snack Cakes, and was able to do credit card transactions he would have had my business.

So, in retrospect, I have not done well at all the last 18 months or so. I can actually feel my health declining. I have gained all but 10 pounds of the weight I lost 2 years ago. My skeletal issues (degenerative disc disease) have gotten worse. This morning and the last couple of days, maybe a week or so, I have barely been able to stand or walk because of pain.

This is not the vanity of wanting to look good for the ladies. I’m in my 50’s. In fact, I will be 55 on March 1. Only 5 days away. It is a matter of life and death for me. If I get any heavier with my condition I could end up in a wheelchair or be using one of those metal walkers with the wheels and tennis balls. I do have one here in the house. I had to have it after I had back surgery in 2010.

Even as I sit here typing I am in some serious pain. I have lacked the discipline needed to stay on track. I need to lose weight. I have mild heart disease and have suffered from high cholesterol for years. I take a shit load of medications in the morning and evening.

I have been a failure this year so far, and last year for sure. I am really struggling. I  need to do better. My plan is to write more honestly about what I am going through. I typically have been writing only when I thought I was doing okay and lying a little the rest of the time. Probably because when I’m failing miserably I really don’t want anyone to know.

Maybe I was vain in the beginning. I was hoping this would be one of those blogs that showed how I went from fat to fit in so many months or years. But there are enough of those sites on the web already. And for people like me, they are not so encouraging. They only make me feel more like a failure.

So from now on, you get the whole story. I will do my best to write honestly about what I’m going through, my struggles, my failures, and of course my successes. I don’t want anyone feeling like a failure as a result of my writing bullshit.

As always I am determined to succeed. I need to lose weight. Not because I want to look good, though that is a part of it. But it is more because as I get older I find that it is easier to catch a cold, I have more pain just because, and I need to be strong. I promised my daughter I would live until I was 120 years old. 🙂

That is all for now. I have to get to work. Still training to be a school bus driver.

Posted in Diet

Fried Chicken Accident!

I didn’t mean to fry that chicken. It was an accident. My alter ego was heating oil, and I stumbled into the stove and lost my grip on the chicken and it fell into the oil. I would never do this on purpose. I’m on a diet.😂

Well, I couldn’t waste it, so, I had it for dinner. I had one helping. It was only a Cornish Game Hen so the pieces were very small. REally! It was tasty though. There is only so much baked anything you can eat without craving its fried relative.

I’m not sure about those heirloom green beans on the plate though. They were kind of sweet. I’m not used to that. I expected the normal flavor of green beans and got a surprise. Don’t mess with green beans. It’s wrong.

Posted in Diet

Back on Track

See? Right back at it. Well, except for the cinnamon roll I had this morning. And the one I had didn’t come close to the one pictured to the right. It was one of those cheap store-bought ones. I was late for work (excuse). Missed breakfast, rushing to work (actually training as a school bus driver).  Got really hungry during the few hours I was driving. As soon as I got home I busted out my smoker and put on a Cornish Hen.

Took me about 20 minutes to get the grill going. In the meantime, I seasoned my little bird with salt, black pepper, garlic powder, chili powder, and cumin. All of these ingredients would be in my rub if I’d made one. I cooked the bird for about an hour and a half. Once it got close I steamed my Asparagus, then, added some salt, pepper, and a little butter.

The meal was quite tasty if I do say so myself. My stomach is now full, and back to its usual calm. It was not feeling so hot after the ice cream last night and the cinnamon roll this morning.

I like my diet. I like the foods I’m able to eat. But addiction, and that’s the only way I can explain it, is a very hard thing beat. I’m addicted to high-carb sugary foods. But one day this will not be the case. I have beaten other addictions.


Posted in Diet

Ice Cream Bomb!!!

I am sitting here, so disappointed in myself. I was too lazy to get up an cook dinner for myself. So for dinner, I had ice cream. How sad is that? And now that burning sensation that I was missing because I was eating the right stuff, its back.

I am extremely irritated. But I’ll continue the fight tomorrow. That’s all I wanted to say.

Posted in Diet, Health

Cures of the Right Diet

Today I have realized that I have been without any form of antacid for over 3 weeks. In 1993 the doctor diagnosed me as having GERD or a Hiatal hernia. I don’t think the doctors actually knew which one. They were Navy Docs.

A Hiatal Hernia – A condition in which part of the stomach pushes up through the diaphragm muscle.

I don’t think this is actually what it was!

Gastroesophageal reflux disease, or GERD, is a digestive disorder that affects the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), the ring of muscle between the esophagus and stomach. The weak esophageal ring allows acid to enter the esophagus.

This sounds more like what I was experiencing

Since that time in 1993, I have taken every antacid ever produced in the pharmaceutical industry. That’s what it feels like anyway. 24 Years! TWENTY-FOUR YEARS!!!! I don’t even think the stuff is good for you.  Earlier years on some of those drug labels I remember reading that it was a temporary treatment, but, I took them for 24 years.

I wrote a post earlier in my progress about how my stomach situation seemed to improve on the Ketogenic diet. But when I began to veer off my diet the symptoms returned.

Today I suddenly realize how long I have gone without my Nexium. I have meant to buy it but never got around to it. I haven’t even mastered being back on my diet yet. I have been fairly consistent, but I’m not all the way there yet. I don’t think it is only the diet that counts. It has to have something to do with how much I eat. When I know I’m eating something that could give me heartburn symptoms I certainly don’t eat a lot of it.

With GERD, I realize that how much food I consume at one setting is very important in keeping digestive acids in my stomach where they belong and not my esophagus. A few times in the last 3 weeks I have had to drink about a half cup of water with about a teaspoon of baking soda mixed in. This neutralizes the acid and gives heartburn relief. Other than those few times everything has been pretty good.

I would like never to have to take antacids again. To do this, staying on the right foods plays a key role, and gives me another incentive to keep at it.


Posted in Diet

Constantly Failing, Constantly Succeeding

When I first began this “makeover” thing I was always worried about whether I was failing or succeeding, or reaching my goals, or gaining or losing weight. It could be maddening.

failureNow it’s two years later. I still haven’t reached my ultimate goal or lost my desired mouth of weight or whatever. But what I do realize now is that I am constantly doing one or the other. I am either constantly failing or constantly succeeding. Sometimes one is happening more than the other, but at least I’m moving one way or the other.

My eating habit was developed over many years. 99% of that time I was eating whatever I wanted and as much as I wanted. Youth will afford you that if you are doing just a modest amount of exercise. I was in the marching band in high school, plus P.E. class, and it was enough to keep me from gaining weight.

By the time I got to my mid-30’s though it was taking more than a little exercise to stay in shape. Fortunately I was in the military and was getting plenty. And I still had not given a single thought to the types and amount of food I was consuming. Surprisingly, I didn’t really get fat until I was around 40. But when it happened, boy, was I in trouble.

The Navy believes in training when it comes anything that has to do with their sailors. So, more than once, I received training about my dietary needs. It didn’t help though. I had already developed some very bad eating habits, which have proven to be extremely hard to change.

ddn-welI still have not given up though. I know what I should be eating, and how much. But I realize that I can’t just switch my way of eating after doing it one way for so long. This will be a fight for probably a very long time. One day it may not be a fight to consume the foods I need for my body. But for now, I fight.

Doesn’t matter if I fail because success is always around the next corner. Doesn’t matter if I’m successful because failure may come in the next moment. What does matter is that I keep going. I can’t change my ways in an instant. It didn’t take me an instant to create my bad eating habits. So, even though the clock keeps counting down, I keep going because I’m constantly failing and I’m constantly succeeding.

Posted in Favorite Recipes

Peaches & Cream Pie

In case you haven’t noticed from the recipes I have posted so far, I love desserts. And there is nothing I like better that peaches and cream in whatever form it may occur. Have you ever bought those Quaker Oats Variety packs of instant oatmeal. When ever I bought those for my kids I would take out the peaches and cream flavors for my self. I don’t even think they knew those flavors existed until they were teenagers.

So when I saw this recipe on I knew I had to try it. But I never did. I just hadn’t gotten around to it. Not yet anyway. I am determined to stay true to my diet this year. So, I won’t be making any desserts anytime soon. But I think you should. So here’s the recipe. You can come back and let me know how it is. Maybe I can live vicariously through your experience.


3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 (3 ounce) package non-instant vanilla pudding mix
3 tablespoons butter, softened
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
1 (29 ounce) can sliced peaches, drained and syrup reserved
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup white sugar
1 tablespoon white sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon


Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease sides and bottom of a 10 inch deep-dish pie pan.

In a medium mixing bowl, mix together flour, salt, baking powder and pudding mix. Mix in butter, egg and milk. Beat for 2 minutes. Pour mixture into pie pan. Arrange the peach slices on top of the pudding mixture.

In a small mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until fluffy. Add 1/2 cup sugar and 3 tablespoons reserved peach syrup. Beat for 2 minutes. Spoon mixture over peaches to within 1 inch of pan edge. Mix together 1 tablespoon sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and sprinkle over top.

Bake in preheated oven for 30 to 35 minutes, until golden brown. Chill before serving.

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Posted in Diet

Help With WordPress

I am posting this from my phone. I have lost the ability to access WordPress login from my computer. I keep getting this: 404 Forbidden.

Does anyone know what it means or how to fix it?