It has been 3 weeks since I began recording my progressive journey to better health. I have been very consistent, but I did have a day last week when I broke my fast early and consumed all the wrong foods. I have forgotten what caused me to stumble, but I know it was an emotional response to disappointment or failure.
Since I began fasting in 2019, I have learned a few things about why I eat the way I do. Emotional eating is probably the number 1 reason I fail regarding food. In my life, there are many things to be disappointed about; wanting to be a better father, a better musician, having more friends, or being a better friend to the ones I have. These are things in my life I take very seriously.
Unfortunately, when I sometimes fail in one of these areas, my response is to deal with it by eating. Sometimes anger is involved, depending on what kind of failure in one of these areas I have experienced. When I’m angry at myself, I tend to eat things I know are bad for me. I intentionally seek out those foods, and I overeat on purpose. As I sit here writing, I don’t know what I’m trying to accomplish while overeating. I sometimes remember thinking I might have a heart attack and be done with it all. Weird huh?
Fortunately, I don’t feel that way all the time. I have been doing better in the last few months. I have been making better choices for meals. I stopped consuming alcohol and sugary foods the way I had in the past. There was a time (in the last 4 years) I would drink a bottle of wine nightly. There was also a time when I would eat an entire pint of ice every night, sometimes with cookies or cake.
the body wants health
It is true that the more you fast consistently, the more your body craves better foods. The more I make better food choices, my body craves it. Also, I find that eating foods that are not so good for me is not satisfying, nor does it feel good later. These days if I consume alcohol, it hurts my stomach, and I get a headache. The same is true for sugary, high-carb foods.
My body is changing for the better. I am motivated to keep moving forward. I will be 60 years old in a month and a half. And at this point, less weight is a must! My injuries from my younger days in the Navy have definitely caught up to me, and being fat is not an option if I want to experience less pain.
I have joint pain in my back, shoulders, neck, hips, and sometimes my knees. I suppose some of it is arthritis. I AM about to be 60. Losing weight should relieve some of the pressure on my joints. That is my hope and part of my motivation.
The 2nd motivation is health. Intermittent fasting has already improved my health, even though I have been eating the wrong things and not losing weight. I have been fasting since 2019. Within 9 months, my A1C was back to normal, and I had been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes before starting. So I will always fast as long as I live. I don’t have to take diabetes medications.
My 3rd motivation for losing weight? I look freaking awful! I hate the way I look. I am morbidly obese, and it looks terrible on me. I am self-conscious when I’m out and about. When I was younger and only beginning to gain weight, I could suck in my gut and look okay (in my mind). Now, I couldn’t possibly suck in my gut enough to make it move, let alone change my appearance.
So, I am motivated to relieve the stress on my body, stay internally healthy, and look better. At this point, it all seems daunting. I feel like I may never reach my goal, but I will never stop trying.