When I woke up today my right arm was almost completely asleep, and it hurt. No, I didn’t sleep on it. I sleep on my back. My neck and back are in such a condition that if I remain in one position for too long nerves are pinched and maybe even blood circulation diminished.

For the past several weeks I have been receiving injections in my lower back to help with pain. I don’t think I am going to continue. They have not helped. In some ways, it seems to have made things worse. I think stretching, exercise (whatever I can do) are the best courses to take.

I have posted any new pictures of my progress for a while. That is because I am not progressing, but regressing. My diet is suffering. I don’t know why I am having so much trouble staying on. Last year when I began it seemed so easy. Now I can’t seem to last more than a couple of weeks.

I still have a mind to keep fighting but is seems so hard now. I am somewhat discouraged by my pain. Sometimes I can’t rid my mind of thoughts that I may be in a wheelchair at some point before I’m old enough to be thinking about it. Quite frankly, it scares me. I don’t know how to go forward.

I would appreciate any ideas, prayers, or whatever.



  1. Regarding your pains, would it help to talk to your doctor about this? Maybe he/she knows of different ways to help you cope or lessen the pain. A stupid personal example: I’ve been having hamstring issues for years, even therapy didn’t work. You know what does? At least one Body Pump class a week. Seriously. Apparently I whip my muscles into shape with one hour of being mindful about my postures and voila! Minumim complaints. Maybe there’s something out there for you, too. I am not saying join a BP class (unless it helps you, of course ;)) but perhaps there’s another way to find release for your back issues? Maybe pilates, yoga, a certain way of stretching, walking, anything?

    Regarding your diet: two things: what usually helps me is to ask myself (sometimes out loud) what I am doing it for. Puts things in perspective. If that doesn’t work, focus on your back problems first. It appears, from reading this post, that they are your top priority right now. Maybe realising the injections don’t work make you worry and that makes you eat more unhealthily (I am a stress snacker, so… it’s possible). Maybe if you get them tackled your diet will improve automatically as you are less distracted by physical pains?

    But whatever you do, don’t lose hope. There’s ALWAYS a way, and if you can’t find it, it will find you. Take care, Tony!

    • I think I’m having a mid-life crisis. Its manifesting in trying to get in shape, dieting, and trying to regain the skills I once had as a musician. I feel like I’m going after too much at this point. I don’t know what I’ll do.

      • Write it down, all the things you want. And make a list of priorities from that. And talk about it with people; maybe somebody can help you achieve a goal or help you tone your goals down if that’s what you need 🙂

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