One of the things that discouraged me the last time I was on my diet and fasting was the scale. One day I will have lost a pound, and the next, I’ve gained a pound and a few ounces. I’d get discouraged and go to the store to buy a snack, which would blow the whole thing up. I’d figure, what the hell? This isn’t working anyway. Then I’d have to start over. Well, that just happened again this morning.
The scale thing, not the going to the store part. I’m probably not eating enough. There is a considerable amount of science to losing weight without losing muscle mass. I have a hard time managing that science. If you’re not eating enough, your body goes into starvation mode, which signals it not to let go of its fat stores. So even though I’m eating little to no carbs and eating fewer calories because I’m not as hungry, I’m not losing weight. However, given enough time without cheating, I might see something different.
Why isn’t losing weight as easy as gaining weight? Why can’t you simply eat less and lose weight? It’s not fair.
Another frustrating thing for me is I’ll tell someone what I’m doing to try to lose weight, then they give it a try, not knowing anything, and lose 30 or 40 pounds and then thank me! I’M NOT HAPPY FOR YOU!😡 This has happened more than once. How is that fair?
What am I gonna do differently this time around? The hell if I know! I already know I can’t give up. I know going off the diet ever so often doesn’t help me, no matter how frustrated I feel. I know that if I want to be alive at 70, I need to make some changes. I’m 62 now.
I think it’s weird that at 62, my biggest challenge is to lose weight and make it to my 70th birthday. And will I make 75? 85? 90? Will I want to?
I think I’m scared. Death is an unknown, but being able to take care of myself as I age, well, that’s quite the challenge, isn’t it? It is what scares me the most. Will there be people around to help me, like my dad had? Have I loved enough to have it come back to me in my waning years?
These are the thoughts that consume me today. Tomorrow, I might be wondering whether or not to buy a new motorcycle. Maybe I’ll be trying to decide whether I’m healthy enough to take a motorcycle trip..
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