Undone

I have, for the most part, been completely unhinged or undone for the past couple of months. I have not been able to fast effectively. However, we are at the end of the year and it’s time to get to work.

Today was the beginning. I successfully fasted for 18 hours, and, managed to curb my eating as far as calories during my six hour window. The fasting part is usually relatively easy for me to do. However, eating the right kinds of food when my window opens is not so easy.

My goal this year is to eat better foods. Also, to refrain from eating so much during my open window. I don’t have to eat as much as I do. I believe I do this mostly out of habit because of the years and years of over eating. Now I must gain control of myself.

For the past six months or so, I have suffered from a cough, or rather a desire to cough. It is dry, it doesn’t produce anything, which made it scary. As you know, the dry cough is one of the symptoms of COVID-19. So it has been nerve-racking, to say the least. I have been tested several times and have come up negative every time.

My doctors finally figured out that the cough is caused by acid reflux. I have a hiatal hernia. And in case you don’t know, one of the ways in which a hiatal hernia develops is by over eating. So I suspect that quite a few Americans have this condition. It can also be brought on by excessive use of alcohol. Both of these are in my repertoire. I believe it started when I was first in the Navy.

Meal times during Boot Camp are not very long, so, you have to eat really quickly and be ready to go when the mealtime is over. So, I got in a habit of eating all I could eat in a short amount of time. Bad habits really stick with you. Over the years, I have continued to eat all that I can eat at mealtimes. Now I have to try to learn to listen to my body and stop eating once my hunger has been satisfied.

As far as I can tell, my blood sugar still seems to be in check. Now my goal is to actually lose some weight by eating the right kind of foods for my body. That means no high carb foods, fried foods and especially sweets. I need to kick my addiction to sugar and candies and cakes and sweet etc. I am especially addicted to peanut M&Ms. So, I need to get my cravings under control. I don’t think it will be easy. It never has been.

I don’t like making New Year’s resolutions or declarations. However, I am determined to make this change in my life happen. Right now, I weigh approximately 253 pounds. I had been as low as 239. Then I lost momentum. I need to get that back and get back to achieving my initial goal of reducing my weight to less than 200 pounds. Hell, even 200 pounds would look damn good on me.

Anyway, I hope you all had a good holiday. I did not do anything special. I did see my kids on Christmas, but, not any of my other friends. I am not quite sure what that is about yet.

Have a Happy new year, everyone! It couldn’t possibly be worse than 2020 could it? I hope the hell not!